My brain doesn’t allow me to just watch and be entertained by movies. I’m always catching good lines of dialogue or admiring how a scene is framed — what’s in, what’s out. So it’s never a surprise to me when I find myself thinking later about some small bit, even if the movie itself wasn’t overall remarkable to me.
In one recent film, a character mentions he thought he was out of the lifestyle he was previously part of, and another character responds with, “And yet, you kept paying your membership dues.”
That statement hit me right in the noggin.
At first, I took it as a literal reminder not to renew my membership in a few clubs and such anymore. For example, in Toastmasters, I kind of left without realizing it sometime last year. But then I renewed in the fall, sure I was just in a slump. Renewing my membership, I thought, would also renew my interest and commitment.
It didn’t.
That didn’t stop me from renewing again in the spring. For sure I will definitely probably show up and give it my all. Definitely. Maybe.
I didn’t.
I even went so far as to compete in the club and area contests, and that didn’t do it for me, either. You see, I was slowly realizing that I was no longer invested because I knew that was no longer my journey. Yet, I love the people there, and being there was feeding the relational side of my personality, but it was doing so at a cost to what I needed for myself to move forward. I can see the people elsewhere. I can be relational and helpful elsewhere.
I needed to stop renewing my membership.
By finally choosing that, it took me off the fence from indecision and guilt to feeling balanced and sure. That season is over, and I am grateful for every single thing I learned and every single person I met, AND it’s OK to move on.
It’s OK to stop renewing your membership.
Every once in a while, I get these beautiful little reminders that I’m a grownup and can make my own choices. No one is making them for me. And when the world got quiet for a while, I was really able to hear my own voice, to listen to the whispers in my heart reminding me what I really want — kindly and with grace.
By letting go of something that no longer served me, I freed up my mind to redirect ideas into writing and photography, not constantly trying to meet a speaking goal. I always loved the idea of taking one concept and using it three ways: writing, speaking, and photography (if it could work) or taking it into two directions in writing itself — possible essay and blog post, or book scene and essay submission. But for the last several years, everything short-cutted to speeches and social media posts. That needed to change.
At the same time, I was canceling my membership to the ideals of how I’m 100% supposed to run my business and social media. There are so many good ideas out there, but if you read enough, they will start to contradict, and then you are no longer listening to what YOU wanted to do as a creative person to begin with.
I find that when I take action in one area of my life, it tends to open my eyes to the other areas of my life, and now I am just canceling and choosing not to renew left and right!
Whatever “membership” looks like to you — whether it’s an actual club or a relationship — you get to choose (really, you really do) whether you keep renewing it. You can let go of places and services that no longer serve you, and you can let go of people who hold you back (or worse), and you can let go of old ideals that are harmful and hateful.
“This is your life, are you who you want to be?” -Switchfoot
Header image by Karen Arnold from Pixabay.
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